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Sunday, 26 October 2014

People get angry

I know I’ve been writing about equality from a position that is anti-feminist, because I see feminism as being about things other than equality. But there’s something I haven’t written about because it just hasn’t been an area I’ve focused on, and that’s the extent of misogyny (hatred of women by men) that still exists in our society.

One of the things I’ve tried to do is bring to people’s attention the double standards that I see, and the attempts by feminists to implement discriminatory policies in our society in the name of ‘equality’. Because to them it makes sense that women receive more attention and favouritism from legal, political, medical and social systems than men do. Some examples include:
  • women being favoured with child custody even if they’re a drug user or abuser
  • women’s medical funding being more than equivalent men’s medical funding, even when more men die from the similar diseases
  • women being allowed exemptions from human rights and equal opportunity laws for women’s only groups where the same for men is illegal
And so on. There’s hundreds of examples I could find and list where women are favoured over men, and which makes me laugh when women complain about how much they’re oppressed. Here’s an image that’s a perfect example of western men’s oppression over women:

worldaccordingtofeminists

But I do digress. They’re issues I’ve covered in the past, and probably will continue to do so in the future. What I haven’t written about, however, is the level of male hatred against women that still exists in our world today.

This idea that feminists have that misogyny is something that should be completely eradicated from our world doesn’t take into account that people are going to be angry with other people. All the time. Forever into eternity.

To demand that no one be angry with you because you’re a woman is, to me, the height of stupidity and is even symptomatic of mental disorder.

The truth of the matter is that people get angry at other people all the time. It’s not about gender. It’s always related to abuse in some form.

People get angry at others because of how they feel abused. And there are varying types and levels of abuse. Here’s 6 Types of Abuse:
  • Physical Abuse: Standing over you, getting “in your face,” blocking a doorway, grabbing you if you try to leave, kicking, punching, biting, slapping, choking, threatening to harm you, using weapons, throwing things, breaking things, punching walls or doors, driving recklessly, burning, cutting, pulling hair, stabbing, strangling, tying or confining you, preventing you from seeking medical care, murder.
  • Emotional Abuse: Insults, put downs, intimidating you, embarrassing you in public, talking down to you, not listening to or respecting your feelings, making threats, telling you you’re not “GLBTQ,” “man,” or “strong” enough, being jealous, possessive, controlling; excessive or threatening texts, wanting access to your messages, email, FaceBook/MySpace, spying, checking up on you, accusations of cheating, making you feel like you need to justify yourself, giving you no privacy, shaming you for your sexual orientation.
  • Verbal Abuse: Yelling, shouting, swearing, continuously arguing, interrupting, talking over you, put downs, using loud and threatening language and tone to cause fear, name calling, intimidating you, mocking you, abusive language.
  • Economic Abuse: Withholding money, opening up a joint account but you don’t have access, forcing you to leave your job, forcing you to get fired, shaming you for how you spend your money, not allowing you to work or get an education, putting all the bills/credit cards in your name, preventing you from using a car.
  • Mental Abuse: Playing mind games with you, twisting everything around so nothing is their fault and all of their behavior was caused by something you did or didn’t do, accusing you of doing things that they are doing, lying, manipulating you for control or sex, threatening to “out” you to parents, friends, classmates, distorting reality so you think you are losing your mind.
  • Sexual Abuse: Rape, unwanted sexual touching, vulgar comments, pressure for sex, forcing you to have unprotected sex, forcing you to get pregnant or to have an abortion, sexting, forcing you to have sex with other people or to watch your partner have sex with someone else, forcing you to use or participate in pornography.
As you can see, any of the above forms of abuse can be done by any one person against any other person, and often is. Even some forms of sexual abuse is done by women against men.

Being angry at someone for abusing you in some way is not the same as being angry at someone because they’re a woman.

In reality, there’s no such thing as hatred of men because they’re men, or even hatred of women because they’re women. It’s a hatred of a perceived abuser, and can be related to gender because of historical patterns of personal experience.

Men can often end up treating women badly because there have been women who treated them badly in their past. And women can treat men badly because there have been men who treated them badly in their past.

There are plenty of men and women who have been abused in some form by other men and women. It’s reality, and our human nature and psychology is not going to change because feminists demand that all abuse of women be stopped.

What would be nice is if people could just stop abusing other people.

But it won’t happen.

When I see women demanding men stop abusing them while still engaging in the abuse of men themselves, all I see is stupidity. Just look at how many feminists are abusing men (in any of the 6 forms above) while simultaneously demanding men stop abusing them.

How do we deal with this?

How we react to insults or negative words is entirely within our control. We can be mature about it and let it go without affecting us, or even make jokes about it to remove its power, or we can cry and run around demanding something be done to stop it.

I like to think that if I go through my life treating people with care, respect and even love, then I will enjoy the fruits of my labour, and people will treat me back with care, respect and love too.

I also like to think that as I walk through this jungle of life, that I need to look out for the predators and be a responsible human being that does what I can to survive and avoid making myself a target.

A woman walking through a dark alley at night while dressed in a sexy outfit and expecting to not be attacked by the stupid and the criminal is the same as a woman walking through a hungry pride of lions and expecting to not be attacked by the lions because she’s a woman.

Survival of the fittest at work, and I don’t see feminists as the ‘fittest’ of our species.

If feminists want men to stop being angry and abusive, then women need to stop being angry and abusive too. And men need to stop being angry at women and stop abusing women. And at the same time, men need to stop being angry at men and abusing each other. It all needs to happen simultaneously for it to work.

Do you think any of this is achievable? Do you think we can get to a point where all people are respectful of each other, and no one engages in any abusive or criminal behaviour against any other person? Can we achieve this utopia?

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